Living in a microwave culture

Last summer, I met a guy. Mr. Hottie, specifically. We had a grand old time getting to know each other for a few months. I’m impatient, though, when it comes to relationships.

Photo Credit: Amy Lynne Photography

I didn’t want to keep spending time with Mr. Hottie without knowing how it was going to turn out. I wanted to know right away, was he going to fall in love with me or be just another guy I met one time and we had this great short story? I wanted instant results, none of that “let’s just take our time and see where this goes”, crap.

There’s a term for this impatience. It’s called a “microwave culture”.

We try to bypass being active participants in our life. We expect that other people, or even technology, will do all the work for us.

We go to the doctor and think that just by going, we’ll get better.

We expect a weight loss program to make us thin and beautiful, just because we paid for it.

We think that if we join an online dating site, or meet Mr. Hottie when he makes your morning espresso, that we’ll be married in six months.

No. we have to put the work in.

Those that actively participate in their own lives are the ones who succeed in reaching their goals and seeing new ones.

The man who chooses to start eating healthy and exercise, will lose the weight.

The person who does their rehab exercises and follows the doctor’s instructions, has a higher chance of recovery.

The idealist who sees the deep despairs of the world, picks up their feet, and walks towards them will make a difference.

The writer who writes fifteen minutes a day.

The athlete or musician who practices every spare minute.

If you put the work in, you will see your life start to change (and maybe the world). Don’t just sit by and let someone else do the work.

Don’t expect true love to happen faster than you can cook a TV dinner.



  1. I love this! What a great writer you are. And girl let me say that whatever guy gets to snatch you up will find out what a treasure you are. In the meantime, Matt 6:33 😉 God is good!

  2. kyla, i definitely agree with you on whom ever puts the work in will start to see change & our society expects overnight results with no hard work. i totally agree. but i also want to add that in relationships with suitors/potential husbands you should put it out up front that you are in them for forever & you aren't messing around. don't waste your time on someone who isn't there yet or doesn't know if they are there yet. if you are ready & he's not, move on. i feel like so many women these days hang on for way too long hoping he'll get on the same page or waiting for him to be ready. if you don't go into it knowing what his goals are for the relationship & he doesn't know your goals, then you're just setting yourself up. so i don't think it's bad to live a microwave culture in terms of this. just my 2 cents worth. 🙂

    • kylajoyful

      Holly, Dearheart, you can give your two cents any day. I agree mostly, but I do think that too many of us (ahem…me) don't allow relationships the time to grow and develop. We go into every single coffee date thinking "could this be the guy I marry", instead of "hey, this could be a fun date". We try to know the end results instead of enjoying the present. That puts a lot of pressure on a relationship. But if we're already in a serious relationship and find out we're not on the same page, then yes, I've got to move on (and quickly!).

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