I’m sitting with my friend the Outpatient Monk, with the promise that I’ll write a blog post. I guess it’s time.
The last few months have been full, and my visit with The Outpatient Monk and friends has been a sort of personal retreat. A mark on the calendar to celebrate and rest.
It’s July, right? The days are blurring together.
I often describe my five years in Nashville as a “dry and weary desert”. Now that I think of it, that’s probably not fair. Yet, it’s still how I’ve felt and feelings are always fair. I largely refer to my employment. I realize job struggles might be normal for someone in her twenties, but what 20 – 30-year-old wants the word “weary” to describe her?
Admitting this makes me feel like I’m complaining – knowing full well that millions of people work their entire lives in jobs (and lives) they don’t enjoy. Let’s acknowledge that and then move on to my own personal experience.
The last five years have sucked. Ok, I’m exaggerating a little. The less dramatic and more accurate statement is: I’ve not worked a job that I truly enjoyed or felt like I was living up to my full potential since I moved to Nashville five years ago.
So after yet another barren job interview in April, I sat at my long-time friend’s kitchen table, weeping, feeling all the emotions that accompany grief. Following the advice of my spiritual director, I decided that May would be spent taking a break from searching, and instead spend my energy resting and discovering. I spent time investing in friends, and built myself some furniture (a goal I’ve had for ten years).
Since my apartment lease was running out (today was the day*), I decided this was a good time to move on. I planned on searching for jobs outside Nashville, once the May resting period ended.
In the last week of May, a company I previously interviewed with, called with another job. Two weeks into June, I had a job offer. One week later, a new home found me, and by the first weekend in July all the questions I cried over in April were answered.
Today I’m at the tail end of a vacation in the city that I almost moved to, looking at my life from an angle that I could barely vision just three months ago.
Just like the rest of the world, I have no idea what my life will look like when I wake up tomorrow. We never see the same moment twice, so we’ve got to soak in the ones we can, before they pass by.
I feel like a dry and weary desert has just became a rain forest. Or maybe I’m in an Oasis.
I enjoy my work for the first time in six years. I’m living in a home that meets everything I asked for. I just spent an entire weekend delighting in extra-ordinary friendships, and I have no idea what tomorrow will bring.
“I have come that they might have life, and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10)
*I’m posting this a few days late. I have an obsessive need for accuracy in everything I say,because I think just one piece of incorrect information changes the entire story. It really makes jokes rather difficult, but I just. can’t. help it.